Found in a dictionary

I was perusing a dictionary today - as you do - and I came upon these gems :-

monkey n (pl -keys) 1 a medium-sized primate belonging to the group that includes baboons, marmosets, capuchins, and macaques 2 a mischievous child (infml)

monkey around or about vi behave in a silly careless way

monkey business n illegal, dishonest, or dubious activity (infml)

monkey nut n a peanut in its shell (infml)

monkey wrench n a spanner with an adjustable jaw

Mmm, all very interesting but I think the last one needs to be redefined. I think it should read :

monkey wrench adj an emotion of guilt associated with creating a knitted primate and then deserting it in London

My Sister and I are Babes

You must have had a similar conversation to the one I had a while back with my sister :-

Me : If you woke up following a coma and had no memory of your life, what name would you give yourself?

My sister :

Me : Or if you were fed up with a life of drudgery and housework and decided to disappear and start a new life, what name would you come up with? (Not that I am, you understand. Drudgery? Pah! Housework? LOVE IT!)

My sister :

Me : I'd be Fiona Thornton. Fiona, after my best friend at primary school and Thornton after my favourite chocolates in the whole wide world.

My sister : Harriett Suchard.

Now, I'm not sure how she came up with Harriett, but being her sister and quite close and all, I'm pretty sure I know where the Suchard came from.

And so our alter egos were born. My parents were confused when I started talking about Harriett, as they were sure they'd only had two daughters (and two sons), and it was quite exciting when post started arriving for Fiona Thornton. Because although I'm actually 38, in my head I'm obviously just 8!

Anyway, during a bout of MFS and prior to my sister's birthday, I decided to bring our alter egos to life. In knit form.

Harriett Suchard

Fiona Thornton

Harriett is blond haired and blue eyed






And Fiona ....... isn't

In fact, for a while there, she was bald

But soon she had a mop of brown - sorry, a full head of brunette - hair

And I really do have these exact shoes in my wardrobe! (apart from they're not knitted, natch)

Here they are, complete with bags (my sister and I like bags) prior to being squished up into a really small box and packaged off to my sis for her birthday.

I'll say again, My Sister and I are Babes ........ Knitted Babes that is!

If you too would like to be immortalized in knit, I used the patterns from Claire Garland's Knitted Babes book. Her website is on the right. Be warned though, while the babes are definitely fun to knit, they are very labour intensive. And they're not monkeys.

I *heart* stationery

If only they were really this big!

Up the Gunners!

Right, where were we? Ah yes, London. Before we left the big smoke, RGH's brother, my REB (Rather Eccentric Brother-in-law) took us to check out the new Arsenal stadium. Oh, the excitement!

RGH was suitably impressed but sadly the monkeys - and possibly those non-footie fans among us - just thought it was .........

Back at my REB's house we had a bit of a party. Unfortunately No. 4 embarrassed us all by pigging out on the croissants

No. 3 was so revolted he turned away in disgust and No. 4 hasn't been able to look at a croissant without feeling slightly nauseous ever since.

Soon the time came for us to leave. The monkeys looked nervous about the prospect of being left in a strange home in a strange town with a str...... slightly eccentric man. But we reassured them ........ actually we just bolted to the door while their backs were turned!

And then we left. Without so much as a backward glance. In fact that's not quite true, because despite all I've said about these pesky primates, they're not really bad monkeys. It's just the way they were positioned.

Gratuitous Muffin Shot # 4

I'm saying nothing ......

........ apart from this ........ if I HAD to justify the decadence that is latte and muffin on a WEDNESDAY - not that I do, you understand, but if pressed I would say that it's a little celebration for me. For not being in the throes of labour like I was 13 years ago today.

Still, it was obviously worth it; if we hadn't gone through that life-changing event all those years ago, No.6 ....... I mean, RBD2 ....... wouldn't be here today!

Anyway, what else is a girl meant to do on a day like this? Housework?? I think not.




Ooh, and I'll quickly just say one other thing - the tale of the Monkeys in London will be continued tomorrow. For some reason I was distracted today.

Hippo Birdy 2 Ewes ...... and 1 Monkey

Hurrah! RBD2 is finally a teenager - as opposed to just acting like one!


She wanted a puppy.


But she got this instead .........

"Can you tell what it is yit??"

(with sincere apologies for the terrible Rolf Harris impersonation!)

Introducing No. 6!

But just think of the benefits of Monkey versus Dog :-

• he won't need walking
  
• he's cheap to keep
  
• you'll never need to pick up his ....... waste product
  
• he won't cost a fortune in vets bills
  
• and he won't bite ....... unless provoked

Plus, he's rather cute .......

........ and quite the party animal

So here's to you, RBD2,

- what it says on the banner!

Note. Phew! It was a late one last night but I finally got there. And thank God I did! While I was madly knitting ears, RBD2 was innocently playing on my laptop. Or so I thought. When I went to switch it off at bedtime, this was my screensaver :

Scary!

London 2007 - The Tour continues

So No. 3 and No. 4 were getting into the whole tourist vibe in London. They discussed having a spin on the eye but No. 3 isn't very good with heights.




They frolicked happily along the Embankment.

No. 4 decided he'd quite like to become an MP and work in the Houses of Parliament.

No. 3 told him not to be so silly - they don't let monkeys in there! ....... hmm, on second thoughts though ......

They nearly got arrested for trying to infiltrate Westminster. "Ello, ello, ello, we'll have no monkey business here!"

They dined in some fine eateries .......

........ actually they decided on a liquid lunch instead ........

While under the influence, No. 4 reached for the complimentary monkey nuts. Strangely No. 3 didn't point out his error.

With more sightseeing after lunch the monkeys began to flag and we decided to finish off a lovely day in that time honoured English tradition ....... no, not climbing Nelson's column - although No. 4 was tempted ........

........ enjoying a rather lovely Cup of Tea.

Tune in tomorrow for the final exciting instalment, in which the monkey's check out RGH's favourite football team's headquarters, and nearly get arrested for exposing themselves on the pitch.

(Disclaimer : any viewers tuning in tomorrow for monkey nudity will be disappointed. It was simply a carrot. An enticement. Plus, LOOK! They're already naked!)