Monkee Pattern

Just as I suspected, when I stopped paying the rent over at my new place, MrSite pulled the plug.

So here, for anyone who may want to make a monkee of their own is my very very long Monkee Pattern.

Happy knitting!

007 and the mini-me's ....

We're back!

But we've moved here :


monkeemaker.co.uk

We hope to see you there!

A year of blogging and some Thank You's ....

My blog is one year old today.




I've had a brilliant year of blogging, mostly about knitted monkeys, and I'd like to thank everyone who has stopped by during the past year, and especially those who have commented on one or more of my 261 blog posts.


Thanks also to the following kind bloggers for these great goodies that have landed on my doormat recently ....



mushroommeadows for this beautiful February Girl print and cute card ....

Nia, for this delicious cupcake brooch .....

.... and Working Mom Knits for this wonderfully soft one too ....

Monda, for the extras that came with her little monsters ....

.... and Charlie, (the very talented creator of Greg) who sent me this fabulous package ....

.... complete with customised envelope!

Trash sent me loads of goodies including the best little hand painted monkey trinket box and teeny tiny glass ladybird ....

.... and finally, Bethany, who introduced me to these guys, and this song, for which I shall be eternally grateful ....

(I seem to have developed a bit of a crush .... I'm not sure which one on though ....)

I think that in this past year I've done as much public monkee-ing around as it's possible for a young woman slightly deranged 39 year old to do, so I've decided to hang up my monkee (not literally, for a change) and take a bit of a blogging break.


I'm feeling the need to step away from the computer and do something else for a bit. Maybe pick up a book, or just lie on the sofa of an evening having my head scratched, like I used to in the pre-blogging days (monkee by name, monkee by nature).



So it's goodbye from me ....

.... and goodbye from him ....

.... for now ....


.... we'll be back when more monkees made of knit are ready to join the crusade ....


.... the crusade that is world domination by monkees made of knit ....

007 in Mission : Unbelievable - Part III

So, we're reaching the end of this monkee who-dunnit, and I must confess to being slightly surprised by the way things have turned out.


Looking at the following photo, I would say we had caught our monkee marauder red handed ....

.... No! Not my RGH - surely not! But when I studied the photo more closely, I realised that it had obviously been edited.




And further investigations led me to realise that THIS was in fact the straight-out-of-camera shot ....







For it transpires that the perpetrators of all these monkee misdoings were this pair of misfits .....

No. 5 (on the right) and his accomplice in crime No. 6. It's shocking, I know, as they both look much too gormless.




Not convinced? Well, lets examine some photographic evidence that has come to light ....

.... hmm, interesting ....

.... very interesting ....

And now that we know the truth, let's just have another quick look at the video footage taken recently at 007's garden party, to see if we may have missed anything the first time round .....







*gasp!*




Finally, the most damning evidence of all .....

Just who was behind the steering wheels of these stretch limos earlier this week?

.... why, none other than No. 5 and No. 6! .....

.... proof positive, I'm sure you'll agree ....

Luckily, before he flew back home, Cedric the Super Hero spotted the monkee mutineers laughing and joking in the garden .....

.... I think we got away with that .... we're great, we are ....


.... oh-oh .... looks like we've been rumbled .....


.... nothing to see here ....

But in true Super Hero style, Cedric took them down and bound them up so they could never cause any more mayhem ....

( .... and then he flew home ..... )

Under interrogation - which did not involve a little bunny bell or a knotted rope, I hasten to add - No's. 5 & 6 admitted to the charges levelled against them. They stated that they were fed up with living in these appalling conditions .....

.... while 007 was being treated as a superstar monkee who got all the glory. Well .... I guess they have a point ....

And I'll leave it to them to sum up ....

.... we're still monkees made of knit .....

.... don't hate us because our mouths are ugly .....

Well, I think we can all learn a lesson from that .... oh, come on, it wouldn't be a proper tale without a moral at the end, now would it?

The End.

Just to show that there really are no hard feelings, I'd like to thank the cast for their excellent performances ....

.... No. 6, Greg, 007 and No.5 ....

.... take a bow, guys ....

..... ummm ?.....

007 in Mission : Unbelievable - Part II

Hmmm - so it transpires that Greg was hanging around the place during that series of unfortunate events after all. How strange .....

.... pure coincidence? Or something much more sinister? I wonder .....

Still, innocent until proven guilty and all that, plus 007 didn't have time to ponder as he needed his little crocheted chums help .....

..... he asked Greg to collect a couple of essential items .....

.... and while he was gone 007 heaved and tugged and pulled and stretched, and finally got an arm free of the ropes, just in time to see Greg return with the supplies .....

.... a sheet of paper and a Secret Agent Security-Cleared Hugely Impressive Magic Pen (SAS-CHIMP) ....








007 started frantically scribbling a message just as it began to rain, which meant that events from here on in got even more frenzied ....

(yeah, sure, monkee torture is one thing - but frizzy hair is quite another!)

To the untrained eye, this may look like an ordinary - somewhat crumpled - piece of paper ....

But anyone with an SAS-CHIMP would be able to tell you that it is actually a very detailed and highly elaborate plan, chock full of maps, advice and instructions on how to rescue a monkee in peril .....

.... ahem .... ok, so it's not actually that elaborate. Or detailed. Or chock full of instructions. But I think it does impart a very valuable message, and Greg was charged with delivering that message to it's intended recipient, Cedric .....

.... just as soon as it had stopped raining ....

.... he flew off .....

.... actually, he may have just waddled off .... to Cedric's place, somewhere on the south coast. ( .... it took a while)

For anyone who isn't familiar with Cedric, let me fill you in. Cedric Splatt is a Super Hero. A Super Hero who has a well deserved reputation for rescuing monkeys in peril.

Here he is, having just rescued Martin LaFelt from Ruby's knitted clutches, after she turned against him following a particularly bad PMS (Precocious Monkee Syndrome) episode ....

(just ignore what Lesley had to say about this incident .... he DID rescue Martin, Lesley just got the wrong end of the stick)

As soon as Cedric the Caped Crusader got 007's message, he sprang into action, and flew up to Bristol at warp speed, red cape billowing in the breeze.

(Unfortunately the batteries on my camera ran out at this very crucial moment, but with the aid of my trusty tablet and pen, I've been able to re-create the scene for you ..... )


Cedric flying in ....

.... to our fence .....

.... once the concussion had worn off, he immediately set about freeing 007 .....

.... and just as quickly as he'd arrived, he flew off again ....

.... into next door's hedge .....

.... Bye Cedric! And thank you - you're a Super Hero!

So at last, 007 was free. And if you're worrying about his welfare following the terrible goings on here over the last few days, please rest assured .... he's fine. After Cedric's departure he retired to the comfort of an armchair ....

.... with a four-pack and an ice-pack .... ahhhh, that's better!

And now dear reader, I'll leave you to decide. Just who was the criminal genius behind this evil plot to rid the world of 007?



Perhaps it was a new character or characters not yet involved in our tale ....



.... or could it really have been the mild-mannered Greg ....

.... possibly while under the influence of a mind altering substance .....?

Or was it this frowny man in the the monkey shirt?

Or could it just have been me, the mad monkee lady .....

.... after all .... pigeons don't wear green shoes ....


.... or do they?



Tune in tomorrow for the final exciting instalment slightly disappointing climax to
007 in Mission : Unbelievable

With special thanks to Rosie, who provided the Impressive Magic Pen prop ages ago, and to Lesley, who kindly let me borrow her pictures

007 in Mission : Unbelievable - Part I (Certificate PG)

Things came to a rather nasty head this weekend. The day started off like any other and nobody knew that the following terrible events would unfold.

007 had just settled down to watch a film .....

(Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, if you're interested, starring Gwyneth Paltrow and Jude Law)

But no sooner had it started, when 007 suddenly had a pillow case dumped unceremoniously over him ....

.... which was hastily tied up with string, with 007 frantically kicking and struggling inside .....


(you may not be able to tell that he's frantically kicking and struggling, but you'll have to take my word for that. Would I lie to you??)





And he was dragged - still struggling - out of the front door .....



mm ... seems familiar doesn't it? I wonder where the perpetrators of this monkee kidnapping got that idea from ....




.... and bundled into the back of a waiting car ....

He was then driven to a local beauty spot where he was tossed out as duck bait .....

.... luckily for 007 the ducks had had their fill of bread that day, so weren't interested.

Then they tried to throw him to the lions! .... ok .... lion ....

.... but quite frankly that just tickled a bit ....

Realising that they'd have to up their game, the perps then drove him to the Avon Gorge.



And threw him off .....

It was a long way down, but luckily 007 is no ordinary monkee made of knit .....

.... and against all odds he managed to scramble back up ....

.... straight back into their evil clutches.




The next thing he knew he was hanging upside down ....

.... over the rather murky River Avon - with duct tape muffling his monkee screams ....

Luckily at that moment the river police came along and threatened the criminal masterminds behind this cunning scheme with prosecution if they littered the river, so the action was moved on ....




.... to the train tracks!!

.... gulp ....

Thank heavens that particular train track was a disused one (please! .... as if I would encourage people to strap a knitted monkey to a real live track!) so the abductors thought they'd change their tactic.



To a tactic of torture.



First they tried stretching 007 .....

.... quite effectively as it goes ....

And then they turned to .... the chair* ....

.... oh, don't be fooled by it's look of innocence. It's pretty blue bird and sprinkling of flowers. For it is .... the chair of doom ....




You've seen Casino Royale, right? And that scene?? (about 2 minutes in)




Well with a little suspended belief, a smattering of imagination and a cartoon saw, that chair was easily recreated ....

.... and 007 was hastily strapped onto it. Then blindfolded.

.... which was probably for the best ....

Oh. It was bad. Make no mistake, it was bad. Would 007's monkee-hood ever be the same again? Has 007 even got any monkee-hood? (well ... he hasn't now, that's for sure ....)

But unbelievably the worst was yet to come. I know. Like I said, it really is unbelievable ....



Worse than Chinese water torture.



Much, much worse ....

.... the sound of a bell tolling .....




.... make that more of a tinkling ..... yeah .... definitely a tinkling, not a tolling ....



.... a little bell tinkling ....

.... the sound of the chocolate bunny's little bell tinkling in his ear .....

.... a cruel and twisted torture, I'm sure you'll agree ....

Well, that was just too much. 007 was a broken monkee.

.... could this be the end for 007? ..... and more to the point - where was Greg while all this was going on??



..... tune in same time (roughly), same place tomorrow, to find out .....

* chair prop very kindly provided by Moogsmum's shop

HP1 .... doing his bit for World Domination ....

HP1 was lucky enough to have gone on a round-the-world trip recently, taking in Las Vegas, New Zealand, Australia, Tasmania and Hong Kong. Sue (his person) very kindly sent me some great pictures.


Here he is before the holiday, swotting up on all things Australian ....





Although he was very excited about this trip of a lifetime .... he didn't think much of the travel arrangements ....

When they got to Las Vegas, HP1 found it difficult to get his bearings, as one minute it seemed like they were in New York ....

.... and the next in Egypt ....






When they got to New Zealand it was lovely to be able to get close to nature ....

.... although not too close ....

(it was very hot - and smelly - apparently, and he didn't want his knit getting fuzzy, now did he?)

Ahh, HP1, I always knew he was a .....

You know how gregarious monkees can be, and it wasn't long before he made a new Kiwi mate ....

Sam

Good job too, as he needed some company on those long lonely evenings when Sue was out on the town with her husband, and they were left back in the motel room with nothing to do but look at the view ....

.... it's a hard life ....

But the highlight of HP1's holiday snaps (for me) has to be this one ....

.... mmm .... Krispy Kreme donuts - and he didn't even save me one!

Thanks Sue, for these great shots, and for reminding me that my monkees are better travelled than me. Do you have a big enough plastic lunchbox to take me next time?