I think I'm in love ......

...... but not with a new man. Or a monkey. Not even a muffin. Oh no. With a catalogue. Sad but true.


A few weeks ago this little pamphlet dropped out of our Sunday paper ......

I'd only heard of Boden once before, after seeing a rather lovely top that Suzie Sews had bought and amended, but then I thought no more about it as I'm not a fan of clothes buying. Or I wasn't - until I saw this coat .....

...... and this one ......

...... and this cardi .......

...... and this skirt .......






...... AND THESE BOOTS!!

Oh God how I love these boots!

Sadly, when I had totted up how much these gorgeous items would cost it came to the princely sum of Four Hundred and Seventy Seven Pounds and Thirty Pence. Plus Postage. That's a heck of a lot of monkeys to knit and sell. Sigh. And unfortunately Boden don't seem to do the usual catalogue pay-forever terms.

So I put away the pamphlet and tried to forget about THOSE BOOTS, but then just yesterday my colleague, who knew about this latest obsession, bought in this ......

I wanted to jump up and kiss her on the lips shake her by the hand quite vigorously.

And as I pored over the full size catalogue I came to realise that yes, although the clothes are beautiful and look top quality, I think if I'm being honest with myself it may be more that I want to look like those gorgeous girls and live the fabulous lifestyles that are leaping off the page at me.

Then I noticed that each of the aforementioned gorgeous girls must have been given some kind of Meme questionnaire at the start of the assignment (tough job!) as there's a little snippet of information about them on each picture.

For instance, Jessica, pictured here with two rugged fishermen, informs us that her best party trick is : "I can fit a pint glass in my mouth."

Hmm, bet those guys LOVED that fact!

And it's a good job they weren't pictured with Anne-Flore, as her best party trick is Naked Twister ..... they'd have had those waders off quicker than you could say "Blimey, you stink of fish, must you stand so close?"

And Haylynn tells us that she's dreading : "turning into my parents"

Roll with it Haylynn, it happens to all of us.

But then I realised that I'd stopped looking at the fabulous clothes and instead was reading all about the models (bad, bad marketing ploy, Boden).

Here are a few more facts ......

Anne-Flore's karaoke speciality is anything by Wham

Diana never has a quiet night in without candles

Clare, if she could choose who to be for a day, would be a monkey swinging in the trees (you've got to love Clare)

Especially as her first drink of the night is a pint of beer

On the other hand, her best present ever received was tickets to Dolly Parton ..... no offence Dolly fans.

Poor Edda is dreading giving birth. (Hold onto that thought girl.)

And finally, Jessica likes licking stamps

You see? I couldn't tell you what they were wearing but I know quite a lot about that bevy of beauties. Fascinating!

And at the back of the catalogue, there's even something for the boys .....

..... nah, scrub that ..... there's more for the ladies!

Oops, I nearly forgot any knitted monkey content then. That park we went to the other day? The one that said No Dogs?

Wish they'd make up their minds.

And the nominations are .....

Recently two blogging type awards have been bestowed upon me and up until now I've done nothing with them.



This is partly because I'm very lazy (I may have mentioned that before), partly because I always counsel my RBD's not to partake in any pay-it-forward type shenanigans on MSN (mind you, they're usually the kind that say "Your parents will die if you don't do this or that" - scary!), and partly because I'm embarrassed by them in a kind of tittybangbang "don't look at me, I'm shy" way.



But yesterday I got to thinking that there I was asking for help from all the kind and generous people in Blogland and yet I wasn't giving anything back. And although I thanked the people who nominated me on their blogs, it may appear that I'm being mean and nasty and selfish by not playing the game.


So let the game begin.



A huge Thank You to Julie, at Little Cotton Rabbits who declared me to be a .....





..... stop tittering, those who know me. In my youth I listened to Rush, Led Zeppelin, Deep Purple, Motorhead, AC/DC and the like ...... well, my RMB did and I could hear it through the wall, so surely that counts for something.



Anyway, I'm passing on this award to the following people .....



April at The Weaving Inn, because she makes me laugh; she swore on my comments ...... something I haven't had the guts to do (so what if I'm 38 - you're never too old to be told off by your parents!) AND she works part-time in a yarn shop. How cool is that? Oh, and I love her profile picture, Beaker.


Sarah at paper-and-string really rocks and I simply can't believe how many goodies she creates in such a short space of time! Plus she's mad keen on monkeys. And Columbo.


Tracy at Cupcakes at Home who has rocked her whole world recently by upping sticks and moving from Kent, right down in the South, to about as far up in Scotland as you can go. She's having a really sad time at the moment and she's written a very moving tribute to her friend who died recently, but if you visit her site please scroll down to the very funny tale of her trip up to Scotland with assorted pets in a Renault Clio (not funny for her, but hilarious for the rest of us - sorry Tracy!)


Gina at Love Honour Disobey whose site I found through a link on Tracy's site. Gina hasn't been around recently but has been ill so I hope she'll be better soon. Cos she definitely rocks. And she has a cute dog. And I love her blog name and wish I'd thought of it ...... can you believe I vowed to obey? I can't either but the Vicar sprung it on me DURING THE CEREMONY and I didn't feel I could throw a hissy fit there and then. As we were walking down the aisle RGH said he wouldn't hold me to it! And he hasn't (even tried!).


And finally, the marvellous creator of monsters, Monda, because her blockhead monsters rock. And even though I'm sad that I didn't win her latest creation, Austin, I'm glad that The Vicious Chicken did, as she rocks too.


Phew! I'm knackered now! Sorry if you Rockin' Girls have already had this award and please don't feel you have to pass it on, I won't be offended. And passing on the Nice Matters award that Rubyred nominated me for will have to wait as this post is already way too wordy and it's high time for a picture of a knitted monkey ......

We were in a park recently where no dogs, no bikes and no ball games were allowed ...... yes, in a PARK, but monkeys? They were fine.

Thanks so much for all your comments yesterday on the shop front, you've given me plenty of food for thought. There's not much point in even thinking about selling the monkeys at the moment though as my needles have been strangely still. Monkey Fatigue Syndrome? Hope not!

Random Monkey Shot #17

HP3 does work experience as a trainee Lock Keeper ...... it doesn't really work out

But along similar lines, I'm looking for advice from some of you blogging shop keepers (do you see what I did there? Clever, huh?). Having been inspired by some of the home-made goodies I've bought recently, my mind has been wandering.

If someone was maybe possibly considering - at some point in the future - selling their ..... oh I don't know, let's say ..... monkey related products ..... what would be the best way to go about it?

Etsy? A shop on their blog? Ebay?

If anyone could give me any advice I'd be grateful ..... maybe along the lines of "Don't do it, it's never worth the stress and hassle", but even better would be "Do it - you'll be a millionaire by the end of the month!".

Some of the things rattling round my head currently are :-

PayPal ..... good or bad?

How do you put a price on your creations ..... hand-crafted goods take so much time and effort but that can't be reflected in the price .... can it?

Can my monkees really take over the world (mwah ha ha ha!) or should I just let them take over the house?

Any thoughts or advice would be gratefully accepted either in my comments or by email to monkeemaker@yahoo.co.uk but in the meantime, I'll leave you with this thought ......

Handbag sized monkey, anyone?

Surf's up, dudes

This time last week ......




One Bongo


Two Adults


Four Teenagers


Two Body boards


One Beach

....... and one monkey made of knit with visions of Halle Berry emerging from the waves in an orange bikini ........

Come on, brah*, let's hit that ground swell**!

...... who you calling a howlie***?

...... Ummm ...... why am I not wet yet?

...... ahh ......




Anyone for rock-pooling instead??

And sadly, no Halle Berry in sight. Just this ......

..... the Magnificent Four ...... cold wet kids

* brah - surf brother, associate, peer, colleague, friend in the liquid solidarity

** ground swell - waves formed over great distance, very well formed and powerful

*** howlie - someone from the mainland who thinks he can surf, but really he can't

(Surfing terms provided by Riptionary, as I'm just a vegetable****)

**** vegetable - anyone not really into the surfing community

Bringing home the bacon (flavoured crisps)

Doh! We've got to go back to work today and I really really REALLY don't want to!



So I'm not going to think about that. I'm going to think happy thoughts .....

....... think happy thoughts ........

....... think happy thoughts ........

........ Muffin and Monkey.......

(thoughts don't get much happier than that)

But even though he's cute, there's no way I'm sharing with him ......

On the other hand I'd happily share my muffin with RGH but alas he can't eat chocolate ......

...... oh dear. What a pity. Never mind.

And if you're going to sulk you're definitely not having any .......

(can you tell I'm a parent??)

What? I said happy thoughts - not kind ones!

And now for something completely different

On Friday we went for a rather lovely nature walk. We saw lots of flora and fauna ......

...... and this cute nut-munching squirrel .......

..... and a knitted monkey, swinging through the trees .......

Ain't nature grand?

Oh, and Michaela? I know someone who's not very pleased with you .....

Yeah sure, so he's looking a little grubby, and rough around the edges, but this monkey has lived!

Whereas that new monkey on the block? He's just a 007 wannabe.

Opposable Thumbs.....

..... well, maybe not opposable thumbs exactly, but certainly posable arms ..... and little stubby posable legs .....

It's HP3! (at long last)

Hi





He's a fit little monkey. He likes to lift weights ......


(imaginary weights)






..... and go jogging ......


(well, power strutting)





..... and he loves doing press-ups ......

...... and hand-stands ......

In fact, he's just one all-round cool little guy ......


And he matches our bland beige furnishings so well!




..... Tah dah - no hands ..... or pins!

Thanks so much for all the monkey love yesterday ..... let's just put my little crisis of confidence down to the fact that it was early in the morning and I'd just woken from a nightmare in which people were pointing at me and laughing ..... no wait ..... that really happened. Anyway, life would be pretty dull if there weren't some completely barking people walking amongst us, don't you think?

In other news, my RBD's had a sleep-over last night. Could someone PLEASE explain to me why they're called "sleep"-overs? At ten to three this morning I burst into their room with mad hair, blood red eyes and gorilla breath from our tapas last night, begging them to shut the f..... please be quiet. After their initial shock it all went strangely silent. Hope I didn't give them nightmares .......