Friday, January 4

Sock monkeys aren't my bag, baby

..... I'd like them to be, really I would, as I do love them so. But I just can't do sock monkeys. Let's examine the evidence .....



Monkees make of knit I've pretty much mastered (even if I do say so myself). Here's one I made earlier .....





..... the Abominable Snowmon-kee, (for my colleague this Christmas)




But lets cast our minds back to this sorry specimen of a sock monkey that I made months ago. Dennis, the scary sock monkey Menace ......





...... scary, huh?





No?








..... how about now?




I rest my case. Anyway. I thought I'd give it another whirl and decided to make my Rather Fabulous Sister and my good virtual friend, the vicious chicken, one each for Christmas.





Sock Monkey photo-fit 1






Sock Monkey photo-fit 2





Ladies and Gentlemen : if you see either of these sock monkeys in public, please do not approach them. They may be dangerous.




And that led me to wonder. Why would I inflict such monstrosities upon people I'm meant to be fond of?


Did I force the first freak of nature on my RFS because secretly I don't think she's that fabulous??* She is, after all, the one with blond hair and blue eyes. And the one that all the boys fancied when we were teenagers ..... not that I'm still bitter, obviously .....

Did I inflict the second sock monkey reject on VC because really I'm envious of her wit, and possibly the funniest line in the entire history of blogdom (in my opinion) ..... mind my face .....





If spotted call 999 immediately





RGH begged and pleaded me not to put my name to these socky scoundrels and obviously I took what he said on board .....




...... gave it due thought and consideration ......






...... and then completely ignored it ......



So. Sorry ladies, for the poor excuse for a Christmas gift, but don't worry, if you can't sleep soundly in your beds knowing that these striped vagabonds are lurking ..... with a few snips and tucks they can soon be turned back into a pair of warm and cosy socks - Ta Da!

*I do think she's fabulous. Although I am still bitter.

30 comments:

SuzyB said...

The long legs thing, are they spider monkeys?

They dont look too pyschotic to me, just a little erm enthusiastic.

Now if you were to try Monkey Socks, instead of Sock Monkeys, you KNOW I'd be VERY interested :o) x

trashalou said...

Okay so they may look a little, erm, keen (or homicidal - take your pick!) but to get past this all they need to do is show of those absolutely gorgeous monkey butts!

Perhaps you could just make those? I'd buy one!

Di said...

The could be gibbons! They are skinny with very long limbs - perhaps it wouldn't feel so bad if you thought of them as sock gibbons!!

Lesley said...

See you've gone and done another gorgeous fluffsome one. Now I really do believe you are quite mad!
As for the sock monkees - sm no.1 eyes too scary, legs a bit sinister; sm's 2 & 3 actually rather cute and that's mostly down to the googly eye thing. I've got some bonkers socks just asking to be made into a primate. May have to do that and ignore the whole giveaway thing today!
Still can't get over the fluffy stuff tho'......

Jane said...

Groovy snow monkey baby! sock monkeys are ok.

Joleo said...

Spider monkees definitely spooky, in a Mr Tickle kind of way. The limb reveal photo made me jump - who knows what they would get up to with them while you're not looking?

Jodie said...

oh ! Ummm. I have some very similar sock monkeys hidden in a cupboard. They improve with practice ...but you know they are kind of appealing just as they are.

Kitty said...

Ooooh coincidence - I am at this very moment (well not whilst I'm typing, obviously) making two sock monkeys. I saw the tutorial on your page - showed it to the kids and they haven't left me in peace eversince. I'll blog the scary results when they're finished. x

Lucy Locket-Pocket said...

I actually think those sock monkeys are rather gorgeous in a very cheeky way! They certainly look a lot naughtier than real monkees but a heck of a lot easier to make me thinks! I definitely think you should keep making them as part of your repetoire (did I spell that right??? It doesn't look right and the obsessive part of me wants to go off and look it up but the lazy part can't be bothered - and wins!)

Karen said...

I think the solution is to knit sockless monkees. Make some stripey ones with longer legs and they should be really cute!

tintocktap said...

Not on the subject of sock monkeys, but my brother showed me this over Christmas, and I though of you! http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Kfne_aorJL8
Not quite Daniel Craig!

Two Crofters said...

i think i may have to look away.....
they are a little bright for me on this dull January morning - i may take another look when i have had a cup of tea and a few biccies!!
tracy x

Leanne said...

Mmmm they are a little evil and scary looking. Everything these days has to have a label just in case someone doesn't know how to use it or they hurt them selves and want to sue someone. Perhaps they could have a label "Not to be given to small children".

Garden girl said...

Hahaha...thought they were quite cute until I saw the 'leg' photo, then I practically shouted out loud in horror (this is by no means based on your skills, just didn't expect them to resemble tarantulas!) a tad scary, sorry.Do like their cute bottoms a lot though!x

Patti said...

Quite like the sock monkees. But much prefer the knit branch of the family.

That is one seriously cute fluffy one. Looks like "Snowflake" who used to live in Barcelona zoo.

julie said...

It is the long limbs that give them their scariness - they could reach out to you in the dark of the night and tickle your nose from the other side of the room without moving! I love the fact that they are like you though Kerry - utterly unique and rather bonkers! Happy New Year x

trek said...

I like the knitted monkees better, too - though the sock ones are interesting in their own way.

the vicious chicken said...

Now look, let's just stop all this nonsense immediately - your sock monkeys are perfectly fine examples of the genre.* The long limbs are not scary; they are part of their charm (this comment coming from someone who has a long-legged sock monkey draped around her neck as she types. What?? It was cold when I got home, and he makes a very good makeshift scarf...)

So. I trust we'll hear no more about your inability to 'do' sock monkeys... otherwise I'll be forced to send my long-limbed socky pal round to get you - probably in the dead of night ;o)
VCxx

*Dennis may be the exception - in the wrong light, he is a tad scary. Sorry.

Sue said...

I LOVE the Abominable Snowmon-kee! So cute!

I have not seen the sock monkeys....if I do, I will let you know!

joanne wardle said...

sock monkee 1 is fab! something just works about him!!
can I be your sister? I'd be much better, as I am also the one that got ignored because of a much more glamorous sister!!

natural attrill said...

They are rather sweet little psycopaths aren't they!!
LOL!
Toby.

Denise said...

I must say I do like your knitted monkees best, but sock monkees are still kinda cute too - I've never seen such Loooooooooooong legs!!! and arms!

Gigibird said...

What I want to know is what kind of socks were they made from - surely people don't wear socks that gay or long??

weirdbunny said...

I love your sock monkey's ! Your Christmas knitted monkey is so funny in that fethered wool ! ~ love julia x

Leigh said...

I think you scary spider monkeys are cute. But, I love that Snowmon-kee!!

Stine said...

the sock monkeys with the realllllly long limbs are fairly creepy! They remind me of watching creepy movies and then going to bed - turn off the light and jump from the doorway into bed (no matter how far that may be) because there might be something creepy under your bed and it might reach out and grab your ankle!!!!

Please make more of the monkees made of knit!!

editrene said...

Dennis the monkee is giving me the heebeejeebees. Maybe that's what the stripey ones could be. HeBGBs.

Kaz said...

I like the sock monkeys myself although the legs are a bit scary, reminds me of spiders too much. Me and spiders don't mix.

Katy said...

how long are tose legs? I think they are TIGHTS monkeys, unless you happen upon socks for giant long legged folk.
But....I think they are rather nice, in a oddly scary way. Possibly not for young children, they may be afraid, and could suffer from flashbacks in later life, but most definitely perfect for Vicious Chickens, and sisters who got all the boys at school.

lauren said...

i LOVE the sock monkees! i do not find the sock monkees scary! what i **DO** find very scary indeed is the thought that there are people who produce/sell said socks in quantity...and presumably some who BUY THEM...to wear AS SOCKS!!!!!
(now THAT is scary!!!)

so in addition to being a cool & creative goddess-type-person you are also doing the sock-wearing world a favor by taking said socks out of circulation...and i, for one, offer my hearty thanks!!!

ps: having been heretofore a die-hard traditional monkee (a la 007) enthusiast, i have fallen in love with the abominable snow-mon-kee!!! OMG!!! he is GORGEOUS!!!