Saturday, April 12

Breakfast.


Early morning. My kitchen. I'm hungry.



I think about the usual breakfast options ......


Toast.





Cereals. Drugs.

(kidding!) (..... about the cereals drugs)







But nothing is really ringing my bell. Floating my boat. Rocking my world.




And then, with a blinding flash of clarity, I think of something tasty.







Very tasty.






..... can you see it?







..... how about now?








..... how about now??








Ah yes .... chocolate ..... the breakfast of champions .....*





I assemble some tools I think may be useful for chocolate bunny massacre .....










Unfortunately 007 quickly realises what I'm up to and takes immediate steps to protect the bunny .....


..... by shielding his eyes ..... how effective .....








Too little too late, 007, too little too late!





I think about administering a shot of pain relief for the chocolate bunny .....








But then I worry that may make the chocolate taste nasty for me. I decide that if I use this tool .....


..... the chocolate bunny probably won't feel a thing much.









The chocolate bunny surveys the situation .....










..... but 007 can't bring himself to look .....









You probably can't tell, but underneath that calm, dignified exterior .....


..... the chocolate bunny is quaking like a leaf.







The time is upon us. My tummy is rumbling and I need my breakfast. I pick up the wooden mallet .....





..... but then I spot something out of the corner of my eye.






007 is trying to bait me .....










..... and I fall for it .....











Well ..... eggs are so much more breakfasty, aren't they?











You may not be able to see it, but the chocolate bunny is overcome with relief .....









007 is too .....


(you may be able to see that)






..... yum .....





These two on the other hand ..... are crapooping themselves with worry.....



.... although you may not be able to see that ..... what with the shell and all .....







So. The chocolate bunny lives to see another day, and 007 looks like the cat who got the cream monkey who saved the bunny .....




..... good job the best before date is August 2008 .....











* I am a mother. I know the importance of a hearty and healthy breakfast. Of course I don't eat chocolate for breakfast.**












** I do really.

34 comments:

Jodie said...

oh yes chocolate for breakfast is the BEST - I have recently broken at least a 5 yr habit of chocolate every morning.Kind of like breakfast desert - now i just do it on weekends. It tastes GREAT!

joanne wardle said...

lol hilarious post! and yes I'm still up! I finish work in half an hour then off to bed for the day!

hmmmm I hope someone brings me chocolate when it's time to get up!

Melissa J. Lee said...

I can't believe you've managed to keep chocolate (in whatever shape or form) in the house for this long. The bunny would have met his maker a long time ago over here...

Penny said...

I loved the tale of the bunny.

(Of course you can keep chocolate for weeks: I've still got a bag of little eggs.)

SuzyB said...

Pigeon Pie! Pigeon Pie for breakfast!

I had rolos. Left over easter egg innards. Im down to a Cadburys button one now and then its back to museli. Or the inside of my cheek it seems as I think I must have been chewing on that all night by the feel of it. Niiiice.

We have Best of Both Hovis, do you find it goes off quite quickly though compared to other bread. Oh my, that was a grown up comment wasnt it.

Joleo said...

007 really is a friend for life once he's made up his mind isn't he? He'll sacrifice anything to keep a chum safe...

I think it's very important to always have tons of chocolate in the house, especially for breakfast.

the vicious chicken said...

The only downside of having chocolate for breakfast is that it may mean there's none left to have later in the day... although you seem to be fairly well-stocked with choccie critters (still) - so no worries there :o)
VCxx

Lesley said...

I think that bunny has hypnotized all of you with his intense bunny stare. It's a trick, I tell you!!!

007 is most definately under a very heavy rabbit induced spell - his staring eyes are a sure give away.

Be strong MM - blindfold yourself and eat the rabbit before it's too late......

Haven't you noticed how there are more and more Lindt bunnies out there every year....in all sizes...they even disguise themselves as Reindeer at Christmas...they're taking over the world...driving us mad for their chocolatey goodness....aaaaaagh......help......me......

Charlie P said...

Genius!
Poor bunny- you're stringing out his death. You could give it a good life, let it run free in a field, wait until it's old and lethargic (August 2008) and put it out of its misery. There we go- guilt-free chocolate bunny euthanasia.

Rach said...

LOL. That buuny would have been slaughtered weeks ago if it lived here. Not by me you understand I am on a diet, no honestly I am . x

Zoe said...

Hilarious!
We've still got the bunny twin! L's forgotten for the moment and I'd usually eat it but am convinced she'll remember about it the second I've scoffed the lot!

Angela said...

Well there are times when you've just got to have what you want.
But well done to 007.
I do agree with Suzyb and maybe you should try Pigeon Pie.

Bea said...

Now I want chocolate for breakfast as well.. ;) To bad I don't have any (or maybe that's a good thing when I come to think about it, my jeans still don't fit since that evil thing called "Easter")

...august 2008, that poor bunny is probably going to melt during summer anyway. I'd eat it now if I were you!

trashalou said...

roflol funny - you are either deserving of an award for most inspirational primate person or seriously warped and crazed sociopath. Thanks for the laugh, I think I needed it.


BTW I could so tell that bunny was quaking, it was in his eyes.

Kitty said...

That bunny does the best dead pan expression EVER, doesn't he/she/it? Who knew 007 was such a softie? Didn't see him being that generous when Martin La Felt was the new kid on the block ;-)

x

trek said...

That bunny is going to crumble to bits inside the foil before it gets eaten, isn't it?

Bogie said...

I love your posts--mini-self-contained dramas. And the new word, crapooping is great. lol BTW, the choco bunny is yummy! Not as good as a dark choco bunny would be IMHO, but it will be a treat once you're able to wrestle it away from 007. We had one a few years ago and our friend Bubby Boucle wears what's left of said bunny.
http://knitflix.blogspot.com/2005/09/fo-2005-20-bubby-boucle-pattern.html

xjennsx said...

LMFAO!!

had to come and read for myself when Kae mentioned it and I was in stitches!!

Manoute said...

LOL. 007 is very nice with that rabbit, but would he protect Greg the same way if you were thinking having some pigeon pie?

Kaz said...

For goodness sake MM get that bunny eaten!! It is not healthy keeping choc in your house for so long before eating it!! I will again offer my services to help with this problem.

Thanks for the mini-tute for the dashes. Watermark tutorial should be with you tomorrow when I get my arse into gear now I'm home.

xx

dottycookie said...

I am shocked - shocked I tell you. Tormenting the poor little bunny like that. Mind you, my daughter still remembers the time she ate an entire gold bunny for breakfast and it did unspeakable things to her insides ...

mushroommeadows said...

I eat chocolate for breakfast too!!! Seriously. :)

007 is just too nice. Or is a ploy to keep the chocolate bunny all for himself? hm.

Michaela said...

I just can't believe it. Get the bunny smashed up and eaten for breakfast tomorrow. It is ridiculous keeping Easter Chocolate for so long. After all, they'll be starting to clear the shelves for Advent Calendars round here soon

Kae said...

Dear Mrs MonkeeMaker,

unfortunately I read your blog AFTER having my breakfast... no chocolate for breakfast here today :( But tomorrow... tomorrow is a whole different matter... and there will be no one around to save a chocolatey bunny here... muahahahaha.

Thank you!!

Lol.

~x~

Anonymous said...

I love chocolate for breakfast. 007 to the rescue - your stories are sooo funny. Thank you.

My breakfast today? Coffee. And not enough.

Canada

Leanne said...

Wise move with the Nurofen .... not sure about chocy nurofen but it could become popular. I'm loving that cereal/drug cupboard.

Lucy Locket-Pocket said...

So funny! I can't think of a witty comment to match it! Thanks for a really good giggle. Lucy x

Gigibird said...

There is something seriously wrong with you.
* Having such a tidy house.
* Eating chocolate for breakfast
This is similar to having half a bottle of brandy for breakfast....bu enough about moi

Jennie said...

I love your blog so much!! It always makes me laugh.
For a moment there I thought you were going to have 007 for breakfast!!
The best way to eat the bunnies is to just bash them on the table the day you get them and eat them then and there otherwise you end up having others forming attachments with them. (That's what we did with our bunny anyway.. chocolate of course!)

Katy said...

poor poor little chicky

D@nielle said...

I just love reading your posts every since I hopped over from Kirsty's about a month ago. Thank you so much for taking the time to make these fab stories just to make us smile everytime. And thank you 007 for going along for the ride....

trashalou said...

d@nielle, 007 doesn't go along for the ride. He is the fiendish mastermind plotting in the background, working one step at a time toward world domination. Poor old Monkee Maker is simply the stooge.

He isn't silly, you know. When the International Polite Society police turn up it won't be 007 they haul off the Hague. Oh no! It will be poor deceived Monkee Maker. We are starting a list of people prepared to bake implements of escape into cakes, pastries and such like so that come the day she will stand a chance at freedom.

Heaven knows she can't be relied on to create them herself! ;-)

Bethany Hissong said...

This reminds me of an old Bill Cosby skit... he is left alone to make breakfast for the kids. They beg for chocolate cake and he thinks to himself (as all Dads love to reason), "Eggs, Flour, milk... a good breakfast!" and the kids chant, "Dad is Great, Gives us Chocolate Cake!!!". This was my own fear when I left last weekend! Good luck on your moral dilemna!!!

One Fine Weasel said...

lol... how come cereals and medicine ALWAYS end up in the same cupboard???!