Tuesday, October 9

If you thought that was bad ......


...... wait until you see what happened next ......


It all started out innocently enough. RGH, 007 and I went out to feed the ducks - ok, mostly geese - our left-over bread (the days of our RBD's coming with us are sadly long gone) ......



Yep. All looks innocent enough.









I liked this pair ......



George and Mildred (..... anyone old enough to remember that?)




And RGH felt sorry for this goose as it had a bad leg ......










...... so he kept giving it more bread ......

(you see? I told you he was a gert big softie!)




Anyway. Unbeknown to me 007 had heard me say that I was going to get rid of the stunt monkey sack and thought he'd save me the trouble. So he'd stashed the sack and the monkees in my bike pannier and when we were distracted he hauled it off ......






..... like some kind of knitted Father Christmas








..... down some steps .......








...... he dragged and heaved - remember, there were 3 stunt monkees in there .......








...... right up to the water's edge .......







...... where he had a quick look round .......







....... to check that nobody was watching .......







....... and then he opened up the bag .......






...... and shook those poor stunt monkees right into the water!




UNBELIEVABLE!!!






..... and obviously a complete lie, but I had you going there for a minute, didn't I? Didn't I??




As if 007 would hurt these guys!



While we were there we took a few more snaps for RGH's pleasure. And please, if porn offends you in any way please look away now.






Don't say I didn't warn you.





Just for RGH ..... and any other males (or females) who are into this kind of thing ......





Bike Porn ......

Oooooohhh .......







....... Aaaaaaahhhhh .......



And finally, now I'm really concerned ...... look what moved into our bedroom over the weekend ......


Hmm, it's getting ever closer to the marital bed ..... that cartoon in the paper was meant to be a joke but I'm worried that RGH is taking it as instruction.

25 comments:

trashalou said...

Oh dear. I think 007 may have 'issues'. There is a strong likliehood(sp?)of therapy in his future.

Or yours!!!!!! ;-)

Jane said...

Hehe 007 was just testing you i think, George and Mildred, my goodness that was much to long ago, but i do remember it - scary.
Watch that bike its got RGH in its evil clutches/gears! Perhaps 007 and the stunt monkees can save you?

SuzyB said...

I'm sorry, I was concentrating, honest but then I got to the bit about a knitted monkee father christmas and that was it, I totally fell off. Is it just me or is that a really exciting thought??

Lucy Locket-Pocket said...

Maybe you should get 007 a bike too?!

Lesley said...

Just perfect for a rainy grey morning :o)

007 really had me going there - thank goodness he didn't commit monkeecide!

I too would be getting v concerned about the bike in the bedroom. Make sure you've hidden the handcuffs!!! and don't say yes to a threesome. Sorry I seem to have found my level there ;)

Nia said...

For a horrible moment there, I thought you were going to say that 007 was attacked by geese! So it was a huuuuuuge relief to hear he was up to mischief.
As for the 'menage a trois', RGH has his bike, you have 007. Now, who got the best deal there?!

Tracy said...

Yes, you had me goin...
and bike porn ROTFLOLPIMP!

trek said...

Always look both ways before ditching the monkees.

lauren said...

ha! and again i say, "HA!!!!!"

i'm trying furiously to think of something funny to say that would match the hilarity of this post...and i don't think i can do it! i do believe, for the first time in 43 years...i am speechless!

i CAN actually think of a thing or two to say about the BIKE PORN...but they are not really things a ladylike sort of person would put in writing on a nice family-oriented knitted-monkee-fancier blog!

for those playing along at home, i suggest devising your own joke to which the punchline is: "a PEDAL-phile!!!" and then laughing uproariously! :)

trashalou said...

Hey Lauren! You know what? I did and it worked!!

the vicious chicken said...

You do know what'll happen now, don't you? You'll get new blog traffic from people who have searched google for "monkey" and "porn". Which might not be nice.

I'm just saying, is all. But I expect you know best (just don't say I didn't warn you).
VCx

Viv said...

007 - if you feel neglected and lonely, hop a plane and come over to ours. I'll even let you hassle Bubba for a bit (who, I am ashamed to say, is still limbless. Obligation knitting came in the way - need I say more?). 'Ow'z about it?

Tracy said...

alas yess miss MM - it was what you thought but i shall remember this visit to your blog and be better prepared for simian silliness ;-) in future visits!
this is one of several fun stops to brighten my day from now on. (courtesy of Lauren @ all the good blog names were taken)

Suzie Sews said...

Laugh...I thought I would never stop...
Suzie Sews

the vicious chicken said...

Ok, so this isn't quite immediate - sorry - had to visit that nice Mr Tesco.

But yes: the mosaic thingy. I'm glad you like it! But it's nothing as fancy as flickr - much more pedestrian I'm afraid. You need nothing more than a Paint program and a slightly obsessive-compulsive streak. A bit of cropping and a lot of copying and pasting later, and Robert's your mother's brother: you have a very poor Warhol imitation. (In my case, Robert actually is my mother's brother - but we'd better not get into the whole names and families thing again ;o) ).
VCx

Michaela said...

Oh dear me, you had us all going here. Vera was so very worried about all her young cousins. 007 - will he, won't he? We thought that perhaps he was the one going to fall in the water and then be rescued by a duck (ever read Gumboots Chocolatey Day?) We're so pleased it all had a happy ending, and have just had to have a glass or two of something nice to steady our nerves.

Well that's our excuse anyway!

My Paper World said...

I was laughing out loud! fantastic post, love the pic of George and mildred!

Mistylynn said...

007 needs to play nice! Love your stories, like I got my own soaps write here on your blog. Take care.
Misty

Mumi said...

lol...thank you for making me roar with laughter once again ...my fave blog ever!! You've even got hubby hooked, when he hears the slightest giggle he comes over to see "what the monkee lady is up to now"

NBM said...

Thank you MM, for attributing VC's IT prowess to me ;) I appreciate it, even if she doesn't - there is lots of hmphing happening now behind me - hehe! Happy days...

NBM xx

mushroommeadows said...

oh my goodness...I actually believed 007 was about to dump those poor monkees into the water! I was waiting to see a picture of them floating around with the ducks. :)

Lissa Jane said...

hahahaha
Your monkeys are GORGEOUS.. they do get up to some monkey business dont they? or are they just apeing your behaviour??

Lissa

Melissa said...

My heart nearly stopped! (I mean, about the stunt monkeys - not the bike porn.)

Gigibird said...

2 things are troubling me.....that you take all the monkeys out with you to feed the ducks and that your husband is bringing his bike to bed.....I think it might be time for professional intervention.

Suse-the-slow-knitta said...

George & Mildred? I can remember "Man about the House"!