I HATE COMPETITIONS!!!!

Can you PLEASE remind me of that the next time I suggest having one?? They're too too stressful!


Anyway, before I announce the winners, here's another Halloween snap, taken a few years ago when the girls were much shorter than they are now ......

..... scary! And look - RGH in a monkey t-shirt!

So. Earlier today 007 and I assembled the names of the competition entrants and picked four six winners ......

I know, I know ..... but I had guilt that so many people had entered and I wanted everyone to win, but I could only stump up six prizes (without giving more stock away), and the last two aren't really very good, so the "winners" may not even want them.

Anyhoo, without further ado, the first name out of the bowl was .....

..... who wins the beer mitt

The next name picked was ......

..... who wins the banana bag

Then ......

...... is the winner of the set of cards

..... and .....

...... wins the pink monkee, HP5.

But then, I was on a roll and thought I'd just pick two more names, as I have two beer mitts - which were meant to go into my shop but I just can't get the monkee faces right, so I obviously can't sell them ..... and don't feel you have to claim them ......

..... who "wins" this ......

..... and ......

.....who "wins" this ......

So, if you ladies would like to claim your prizes, please email me at monkeemaker@yahoo.co.uk and I'll get them in the post to you as soon as possible.

And Viv? I really have guilt that you didn't win anything. I wanted you to, really I did! Mind you, I wanted everyone to win, which is why I HATE COMPETITIONS!!! (Did I mention that already?)

And did I mention that my monkee shop is opening today? Why don't you mooch on over and take a look? I hope it won't give you a headache ..... it's certainly given me one!

I'm off to run my wrists under cold running water .....

Happy Halloween!

Not that we really do Halloween in this house. Sure, I stand at the front door and ward off small kids and teenagers by throwing sweets in their general direction, but we didn't ever let the girls go Trick or Treating. Because we're mean like that. But we did do apple bobbing occasionally. Fun!

So maybe this post should instead be titled :-

Halloween ..... and the Revenge of the Small Monkee


It was a day like any other. 007 was just sitting around the place, minding his own business, not realising that he was being spied on by HP6 (in my competition I inadvertently called that pink monkee HP6, but that's HP5. Heck, I've lost track where I am with these pesky monkees!)

..... you probably weren't, but just in case you were wondering, 007 was contemplating this sight ....

..... no, not the incredibly grubby glass ..... the Wood Pigeons!

Anyway. It struck HP6 as a good opportunity to pay 007 back for all the bad deeds he'd done to the stunt monkees over the last few weeks .....

Note the rather large pumpkin. Note the monkee with a chip on his shoulder. Note the perilously close to the edge position of said pumpkin.

Push!

..... note the unsuspecting monkee on the floor

What the ..... ?

Oh-oh .....

Arrrggghhhhh!!

Splut!

Note the squished monkee

..... mmmmfffffhhhhhh .....

What 007 was trying to convey there was " Don't worry about me, Monkee lovers, I'm fine ..... no really ....."

No lasting effect what-so-ever

So, if you happen to become the owner of a stunt monkee, watch your back. They may be small but don't let that fool you ..... they're trained in the art of self defence and pack a very woolly punch.

Talking of which, so that you won't have to keep checking back here and boosting my stats ..... heaven forbid! ..... I'm going to announce the winners of my giveaway and post a link to my shop at 4 o'clock this afternoon. That should give me time to add to the three pictures that are currently uploaded!

And by the way ..... does anyone know where I can buy a job-lot of knitted monkeys to palm off as my own because I don't think I have enough. Oops.

Let's not call it panicking

..... let's call it more burying my head in the sand basket of monkee botty's.

Wow, this last week has gone massively quickly and tomorrow is the witching hour, in more ways than one. And hey! Didn't I do well on the whole staying-away-from-my-blog front?? ..... don't answer that.

So yes. Tomorrow is theoretically the grand opening of my little monkee shop and let's just say that I was hoping to achieve more this last week. Like, for instance, knitting more stock, getting Paypal sorted, and just generally sussing out how the whole thing will work.

But I'm sure it'll be fine. I hope. I thought I'd just mention a few things about my imminent shop, interspersed with pictures of knitted monkees to relieve the boredom :-

A FEW THINGS ABOUT MY SHOP :-

• The first person to comment on each item will have the option to buy it, depending on how much postage will cost them. If they decide not to the item will go back on the virtual shelf

• The whole "No-reply" issue with Blogger comments worries me (and I must confess that I actually once did try to reply ..... thinking that the address was "Nore-ply". I'm bright like that) so if you want to buy something and can leave your email address when commenting, please do, in order that I may contact you

• Wednesdays and Fridays will be my days for outings to the Post Office, so please bear with me if you buy anything ..... it may take a few days

• I'm not currently planning on having an advance email list as I really don't think there will be the demand for my ironically sewn monkees ..... plus, any knittists can make their own monkey using the link to the patterns on my blog

• After this initial opening, I'll be stocking my shop on a drip-feed basis, after introducing any new monkees on my blog

Thanks to everyone who has commented or left a suggestion, and please remember to come back tomorrow to check if you've won a monkee related product. There's still today if you haven't yet entered my giveaway, just leave a comment on this post.

Until tomorrow .....

ps. I may be later posting tomorrow .... depending on how organised I am tonight. ...... ok .... I WILL be later posting tomorrow ......

Sunday?? But I thought it was Wednesday!

Oh well, as I'm here I may as well do this .....

So. Lauren thought I'd crack by Sunday tea-time, did she? Well ha! I cracked before Sunday BREAKFAST - so there!! (No, wait. That is still before Sunday tea-time, isn't it? Damn and blast!)

Anyway, it's all Lauren's fault I'm here today. I just couldn't wait any longer to show off a few things .....

A couple of weeks ago I was checking my comments (as us obsessive compulsive blogging types do) after a couple of glasses of white (I don't recommend you try this - you can end up doing or typing something you regret .... although in my case it had a happy ending), and I declared Lauren to be the winner of an impromptu competition after she'd trawled through my archives to find RGH in knitted pants* - the weirdo. So I sent her a teeny tiny monkee bag, which I think she liked.

Anyway, Lauren mailed me to say she'd be sending a Thank You by return, and I was expecting (and looking forward to) one of her super smashing marvellous hand crafted cards. Imagine my delight when I received a package from the postman that had cost over 15 dollars to send - already I had guilt that mine to her was only £ 3.00 to post, but really, I don't know how heavy these home-made cards can be.

Inside the package I found this ......

..... and I thought "Oh how lovely, Lauren has sent me some green notelets", then I hastily put them aside to crack on with the very important job of ripping into these .....

..... Tastykakes, which really are very tasty little kakes, indeed.

A little later, when I was feeling quite stuffed with Tastykakes, I thought "Hmm, I wonder if there are any other colour notelets", so I opened up the box, and it turned out that there were quite a few other other colours ......

All of them MONKEE COLOURED!!!

Feast your eyes on these babies .......

Now, I was only going to show and tell that picture, but as I'm obviously never ever EVER going to be able to give any away, I may as well show them all, up close and personal ......

Aren't they fantastic? They make me beam whenever I look at them (which is often). Like I said, I was pleased with the Christmas cards I made ..... until I saw these. It's no wonder Lauren was recently crowned Queen, to me she is now HRH Lauren.

Thank you so much, HRH, but sadly I won't be sending you a Thank You for your Thank You ..... otherwise this thing could run and run.

And if I relent, and do ever send one of these fabulous cards to anyone ..... feel special.

If you haven't already entered my giveaway competition, please go to this post and leave a comment. Loads of people have already ..... who knew there were so many knitted monkey aficionados out there? Not me.

* please don't bother trawling through the archives to find RGH in knitted pants. There shall be no more impromptu competitions as I'm never drinking again. Ever.

Bored bored bored bored bored!!!

No hubby, no kids, no blog ..... my sister thinks I'll crack. This doesn't count, does it??

Still, they're all back today so I must get on and tidy up ..... who knew that I was the messy one?!

Stock? Who needs stock??

Thanks so much for all the great comments yesterday - who knew there were so many similarly afflicted people in the bedroom department?! But ..... ummm ..... you do realise that this is the giveaway post, don't you? Now you'll have to leave another comment, to be in with a chance of winning a monkee related product!

Talking of which, my up-coming monkee shop will be opening next Wednesday. There's no link to it yet as I'm still madly hoovering and dusting shelves. Bah ha ha ha ha!! As if! But seriously, inspired by Julie I've decided to give a shop on my blog a whirl. I'm sure that the demand for relatively small acrylic monkees will be no-where near that for those gorgeous Little Cotton Rabbits, so hopefully there will be enough to go round.

In the meantime I thought I'd give you a little taster of what will be on offer next Wednesday, so four names will be picked at random from my trusty knitted hat and each person will win one of the following items :-

If you're like RGH and you enjoy a cold beer but don't enjoy cold fingers, I have the perfect solution for you. The first name out of the hat will win this beer sock avec monkee face .....




The sock works equally well on cans or bottles, but please note that beer is not included in this amazing offer. A slightly scary felted monkee face is though .....

Mmm. Still working on those .....

Or if, like me, you start each day full of good intentions to actually eat the recommended five portions of fruit and veg, and pop a banana in your bag ..... only to bring it home again - hey - banana's like day trips ..... how about this .....

Your very own banana-sized and colour bag avec felted monkee face decoration.

Second name out of the hat wins it .... and look! Plenty of room to give two banana's a little run out and back .....

And don't worry - there's even room to hold proper snacks as well!


Please note : Banana's and proper snacks not included

Next up, and going to the third name out of the hat, is this set of six festive Christmas cards, featuring 007 and captions such as "007 does Santa", "Ho Ho Bloody Ho", "Merry Knitted Christmas", "007 thought Santa had been a tad miserly" and "Merry Christmas Baubles" ......

..... and each has a "Happy Christmas" greeting. I was really chuffed with the way these cards turned out, until I saw a certain someones cards up close and personal, and now I have talent envy. But more of that after this self-imposed blog abstinence .....which the thought of is bringing me out in a cold sweat.

Anyway. Moving swiftly on. The last name picked will win this ......

HP6 - the inside-out monkey ie. smooth body, arms and legs, lumpy hands, feet, mouth and ears. And did I mention it's pink?

So, there you have it. Or you could have it if you leave a comment between now and bright and early next Wednesday morning. And if your comments could include any tips for prospective shop keepers that would be smashing, thanks.

Oh, and the rules - just two ......

Please come back to check if you've won anything.

And if you're commenting anonymously, please leave a name. Make one up if you like, I don't mind.

See you next week ...... *sigh*

Therapy

Hi, my name's Kerry and I'm addicted. To blog (..... and to dry white wine but that's a whole other therapy session). I thought I had it under control, but I was wrong - I'm hooked. And don't they say that admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery?



The second step in my two-step plan (forget twelve steps ..... I did mention I was lazy, didn't I?) is to go cold turkey and take a week off the blog. But before you start weeping, wailing and gnashing your teeth ..... oh hang on, that's just me ..... it starts after tomorrow's post, and when I come back I'll be throwing open the doors on my monkee shop.

Monkees for sale ..... soon

And to make up for a week of monkee silence, tomorrow's post is going to include a give-away or two so be here or be somewhere else ..... after all, you'll have one whole week to enter.



Something else that's happening tomorrow is that RGH and the RBD's are going down to sunny Devon for a couple of nights. The RBD's to be spoilt rotten by their Grandparents and RGH ostensibly to cycle up - and down - some proper hills, but really to be spoilt by his mum too.



Getting holiday during half-term is a bit of a bun-fight at my work, so I'll be staying here, and although I love my family with a passion, and would hate to be without them permanently, there are certain benefits to having a couple of days home alone.



These are ..... in no particular order .....

• when I get back from work the house will be exactly as I left it* - a strange and bizarre concept


• sandwiches and crisps for tea. Ok .... let's be honest here ..... just crisps


• no one begging me to put the knitting down and please get them some food - for God's sake - didn't they eat yesterday??


• Ditto above but to go cycling


• being able to watch this as many times as I like .....

• having full control of the remote ..... and contrary to popular opinion - knowing what to do with it


• the bed situation .......

Our bed is only a double ..... what's that 4 foot 6 inches? (1350 mm or 135 cm for those of you younger than me) which for two big people is really too small. Especially when it's used like this ......

Please note that this picture is intended for illustration purposes only. RGH is certainly no match-stick man and I'm even less of one. Also, when I showed him said picture ..... he didn't deny the bed-per-person ratio ..... his only quibble was that my head seems to be so much smaller than his when in reality, it is, alas much bigger (I can't do hats).



Anyhoo, this next picture illustrates how the bed may or may not be used for the next couple of nights ......

Smashing.

Right then, I'm off to gather up some rubbish goodies for tomorrow's giveaway and to find the flyer for dial-a-massive-pizza-and-eat-it-all-yourself.

* providing we don't get burgled. Great! Now I've given myself burglary concerns!