A letter from HP1

dear creator,

well, despite your best efforts to get me lost in the british postal system i finally arrived at my new home. a little short of breath but still looking pretty damn cute.

the sofa's here are really comfy and not cluttered up with monkeys like they are there. i've already made a new friend, his name is bob and apart from his aversion to bananas we get along fine.

i hadn't been here very long when i noticed the people were planning a holiday. hope they'll be taking me. i've been studying the lingo just in case but it's all greek to me.

and as often as i can i like to catch up with the boys back at the monkey house. glad i missed the muffin-off and the monster-off ....... they looked so scary! and so did the monsters!

anyway, the people want their pc back now and my arms are hurting. say hello to 007 for me, the big lug.

lots of love

hp1

Well, obviously I passed on HP1's message to 007. Unfortunately he was trying to catch up with Hollyoaks at the time ......

...... so wasn't very receptive .....

Aren't you impressed by how talented my monkeys are? If it wasn't for their penchant for trashy TV they could take over the world!


Right, if you'd like to win my monkey back-pack (if I can prise him out of Dennis's vice-like monkey grip), please leave a comment on this post and I'll hold a draw next Thursday.

And just before I go, a few answers :-

Victoria : I use the cheapest yarn possible, if you're in the UK they sell fluffy yarn in some pound shops for a pound (funnily enough).

Frances : that "red" monkey is rather a strange pink colour and that's No. 2. (Note the tight mouth).

Michelle and Jennifer : What, me give away my secrets?? Oh ok then. I just used the trusty Sirdar pattern (link to it on the rhs of my blog) but added lots of stitches here and there. And I used a charity shop skirt sewed to the back. I've said it before and I'll say it again ..... it's really not very good!

April : Clever. Very clever. I'm almost tempted.

Anonymous who left a comment on the "I'm too old for novelty back-packs" post : could you come back and leave a comment on the "Here we go again" post as that's the one I'll be drawing from? Also, if you could make up a name, that would be handy.

And finally (no, really this time), what's the blog etiquette for commenting on your own comments? If you respond to somebody in the comments section, they may not see it as won't they have moved on by then? But if you respond on your next post it then gets ridiculously long. This one being a case in point. Answers on a post card please.

Here we go again

Right. This is definitely it for a while. No really, it is. Yep. For sure. No more competitions for AGES. YONKS. Oooooh MONTHS. Well, that's what I told RGH anyway, after he read of my caption choosing fiasco yesterday and thought it may be necessary for me to go back to the day job on Wednesdays to finance my addiction to giving stuff away. He didn't actually say as much but we've been together long enough now for me to know that look.

Anyway ..... on with the competition!

Sadly, after winning the last draw Myra never came back to claim her monkey back-pack prize ......

...... here it is showing off it's ability to carry other monkeys inside itself, but if you don't happen to have any monkeys that need carrying around, how about this ......

...... surely everybody has snacks they need to transport at times.

If you're not familiar with my blog, this is why I'm giving away my back-pack made of monkey knit, and to be honest, I'll be glad when it's gone as it's only gathering dust in the spare room with Dennis, the scary sock-monkey menace.

So, for a chance to win my back-pack please leave a comment on this post. No captions for me to stress over, just a simple comment (no cruel ones thanks - you know who you are) and next Thursday I'll do another draw.

Just the one rule again, that you have to come back to check if you've won. Otherwise this pesky competition could run and run.

Oh-oh. She's trying to get rid of me again. If I just sit. very. still ......

On tomorrow's post there'll be news of HP1, who finally reached his destination safely, despite somebody inadvertently transposing the numbers in the recipients address. *Sigh* Numbers. They're all maths to me.

There can be only one winner two three winners

Nope. I couldn't do it. I couldn't just choose one winner. And then I had a blinding flash of inspiration - three winners!

...... I think this helped

So, without further ado, the winner of No. 13 is .......




Cyndilou, with .......

Go on Pink ...... Make my day

..... because it's so simple it's brilliant, it appeals to me, and because it's very 007 (ok, Dirty Harry, but you know what I mean)

Next up, the winner of this little guy ......

(No.'s 9 and 10 included for scale purposes only)

(who I just finished sewing up last night and who was meant for someone else, and who had to be prised from RBD1's fingers this morning - no, it wasn't meant for her ..... I'm a bad mother, but not that bad!)

...... is Amy, with .......

Looks like you've been stitched up, 007!

...... which works on two levels (I think. Maths!)

And last but not least, the winner of this poster of 007 camping it up in France, Belgium and Holland (please note that I made RBD1 don surgical gloves in order not to get it grubby!) .......

....... is Sal, with ......

Yes that's lovely - but look at the size of his ....... bunch

...... because that's how my mind works!

So well done Cyndilou, Amy and Sal, if you want to claim your prizes please email a forwarding address to me at monkeemaker@yahoo.co.uk .

Thanks to everyone for entering my very stressful contest ..... I'll be all competitioned out for a while ...... oh, apart from once again trying to get rid of that pesky monkey backpack, but you'll have to come back tomorrow for news on that one ..... I need to go and have a lie down in a dark room.

Remind me never to do this again

It's too hard! I can't do it! Why oh why did I ever think I could copy Pioneer Woman with a caption competition and only pick one winner? How does she do it with over a thousand entries? The mind boggles.

And my mind is boggling and needs coffee and muffin. Right now. Sadly though, no coffee and muffin emporiums are open at this time of the morning so I'm afraid the announcement of the winner of the pink monkey made of knit will have to wait until after I've printed out the comments, savoured a latte (full strength today I think), enjoyed an (inferior) RaWCC muffin and ruminated. Long and hard. Sorry.

I can't stand the stress

Monster's Ball

Well, what a wet and dismal weekend we enjoyed here in Bristol. The kind of weekend where you go a little stir-crazy at home and end up doing something mad, like trying to bake muffins (idiot). Or suggesting to your family a monster challenge.


Sensibly RBD1 declined (she had other pressing issues to attend to, such as MSN, BeBo, applying false nails, and watching 18 DVD's), but RGH and RBD2 were up for a monster-off.


Please note though, that the following are not proper monsters. Heavens to Mergatroid no. They're amateur monsters that could fall apart at any second ...... well, RGH's could. If it's proper monsters you're after, get yourself over to Monda's blog or her Etsy shop and you'll find professional monsters galore.


Anyway, on with the faux monster mayhem ......

007 and No. 11 were intrigued .......

007 whispered to No. 11 .......

What's going on? I thought she was a monkee maker, not a monster maker

Unfortunately the monsters, despite their apparent lack of ears, have very sensitive hearing and were alerted to the presence of the monkeys ......

007 : Oh-oh

No. 11 : Oh Scruttocks

And they were out of there as fast as their little knitted legs would carry them. (Not very as it turns out)

Since the weekend there have been many heated discussions and babyish arguments about whose monsters are the best (mainly by a man who shall remain nameless), so I thought it only fair that an unbiased judge should get the final say.

Mieke, Monda's marvellous monster. Now he knows what a monster should look like.

Would this terrible twosome, by RBD2, win the challenge?

Or this motley monster crew by RGH ........

Or will it be this bunch of desperado's by yours truly .......

And the winners are ........

Drum roll please .........

The Terrible Twosome, by RBD2!

Take a bow, boys. Or don't, it's entirely up to you.

Mieke was also impressed by RBD2's work-in-progress monster ......

No! It's the mouth!

And the loser? Definitely this banana abomination .......

Mieke was shocked and aghast when I pointed out that RGH had used wood glue in the preparation of his monsters, and suggested that maybe he ought to stick to what he's good at ..... cooking and cycling and looking gorgeous. (That last one was mine).

He also said that I ought to stick to monkeys and leave the monster making to professionals. Fair enough.


Talking of monkeys ........

Competition final call .......

So if you haven't already done so, get over to this post and leave a winning caption for the picture on there, and you could win this pink monkey. (The one made of knit). I'll pick the winner tomorrow morning.

No, I'M the pink monkey

Random Monkey Shot # 14

When bananas* bite bake

* Banana Monster by RGH. More Monsters** tomorrow.



** Monsters inspired by Mieke, Monda's Marvellous Monster

Competition News

Ok. You have today and tomorrow and until I wake up on Wednesday to enter my rather tedious marvellous competition. The caption for the photo on this post that appeals to me most wins.

I like ..... gossiping with my pink mates. About pink issues.

Tears and Tantrums ......

...... at our favourite coffee shop yesterday when my worst fears were confirmed.






Yup. They've changed their muffin supplier. Goodbye Raspberry and White Choc Chip Muffin (I'll miss you my friend), hello Blueberry and Cheesecake.





It doesn't even come close. (Obviously I still ate it. Well, I hate waste).



But when the very nice lady (who makes the best coffees) saw me contorting my knitted monkey's face into a down turned mouth how upset 007 was by the whole situation, she reassured us that the RaWCC muffin would be back. Hurrah!

However, in the meantime desperate times call for desperate measures. We bought muffin trays .......

...... and sourced a suitable recipe on-line

We assembled the ingredients .......




But before you read any further can I just mention that the last time I (tried) to bake a cake (a Victoria Sponge Sandwich as I recall) was about 10 years ago and unfortunately both the cake and the tins it was welded to ended up in the bin (that was before I hated waste). So don't expect a happy ending to this story.

Ok, carry on.


007 seemed reluctant to use a whole pack of Green and Blacks .......

Can't we just have a couple of chunks?

And was a natural at stirring ......

What are you trying to say?

And pretty soon our muffins were ready for the oven. We were very excited.

Oh yeah, look at me. I can hardly contain my excitement. And get this ridiculous hat off me.

In fact, it was a bit of a cook-off in our kitchen yesterday. While 007 and I were hard at it on the muffin front, RBD 2 made these rather chocolaty cakes ......






...... and RBD1 cooked these rather pink strawberry buns ......






And not to be outdone, RGH created this ......

...... which isn't what it looks like. 007 hadn't had one too many Bacardi Breezers the night before, oh no. It's actually a rather delicious Gent Stew (or Gentse Waterzooi to give it it's proper title). And Wow! Who knew that I'd ever find stew delicious?


Anyway. Back to the muffins ...... actually, I think the word "muffin" is a bit of lie ......


...... mm. Right. Well, I shan't be giving up the day job anytime soon.

And lets never speak of these again .......

What can I say? I'm a Monkee maker, not a cake baker. And let's face it, 007 is A KNITTED MONKEY (I have to keep reminding myself of that) so how much help could he be in the kitchen, really? I'm very envious of my virtual mate Michaela who makes the most divine cakes and bakes and makes it look easy!

007 couldn't decide which to sample ......

..... so had to have one of each. Let's just say the "muffins" didn't take first prize.

Anyone need any muffin trays?

Competition News

The end is drawing neigh on this competition (at long last), so be sure to leave a caption for the photo on this post by Wednesday, to be in with a chance of winning this pink monkey ......

I like pink ..... hairbands

And finally, a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my RMB (Rather Musical Bro), the cheeky chirpy chappy on the left in the picture below ......

...... who is now yet another year older than me. Bah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha