Friday, July 20

School's out for summer

And we're all off on our hols. Hurrah!!
But we'll be back soon.

Oi - stop pushing at the front - there's plenty of room for everyone!

Thursday, July 19

Say oops upside your head .....

....... say oops upside your head ......

..... I'm sorry I don't know the rest of the words. Actually, are there any other words??

Talking of which, I neither know nor understand the words to this rather fabulous CD I bought yesterday ......

....... but I do know that cranked up loud enough (as it was), the voice of Mr Paul Potts, TV's Britain's got Talent winner (and Bristolian lad), can almost move you to tears. I'm sure the neighbours probably felt much the same way with me whistling as loudly as I possibly could along to it (I can't sing but I sure can whistle!).

Marvellous. My first classical CD. It's official - I'm old. What's next? Slim Whitman? (Or Hank Wancman as I affectionately call him, much to the delight and amusement* of my parents)

And in muffin news, I was chuffed to receive an email from the fantabulous people at Coffee#1, begging me to stop stalking them** and bombarding them with plaintive requests to display one of my monkeys in their rather marvellous coffee houses. I personally think they're missing a beat and it's my life's ambition to one day open my very own coffee (and muffin) emporium cum knitting shop. RGH laughs every time I mention this to him, but you know, I could be on to something there. (Or possibly just on something)

While we're on the subject, I happened upon one these delightful little delicacies at the weekend .....

..... and I wore my muffin top in honour of the occasion .......

Sadly, the irony wasn't lost on me that I also had muffin-top going on around the top of my jeans. *Sigh* (Yeah, yeah. I know that if I simply stopped eating said muffins, then said muffin top would disappear. Life's too short.)

Random things about me #4

I love :-

scrunching dry leaves underfoot, how beautiful my daughters look when they're not wearing too much make-up (hint hint), having my head, back and arms scratched (obviously a monkey in a former life), the sea-side but not getting sand everywhere, my bed (especially when the sheets are clean!), the effect that those first two glasses of wine have on me (if only I could stop there!), Thorntons champagne truffles, waking up thinking it's Friday then realising it's Saturday, new bags, sunny days but sitting in the shade, the way RGH looks at me sometimes. Actually just the way RGH looks, cos I'm shallow like that.

* for "delight and amusement" read "disdain and eye-rolling irritation". (Sorry Mum and Dad. I may be old but I'm obviously still childish.)

** I didn't really stalk them. Honest.

Wednesday, July 18

Do blonds REALLY have more fun?

Possibly not.

Random things about me #3

I loathe and detest buying new clothes. I think this is due to three things. The changing room mirrors - or what I see in them; humiliating memories of 80s/90s communal changing rooms (some things you never forget!); and the fact that I have hips.

Maybe that's why I'm drawn to the monkeys. They have hips too .......

And this mug. Definite hippage going on here ......

Trust me, you can trust a primate (or drinking receptacle) with hips.

Tuesday, July 17

Twelve Monkeys

No, not the 1995 science fiction film starring Bruce Willis, Brad Pitt and Madeleine Stowe. My 12 Monkeys.

Or to be precise ....... No. 12.

No. 12 is for my mum. She has some sepia canvases of her grandchildren on her wall and she wants this little fella to sit underneath them.

How appropriate.

And in other news I'm finding this random 8 things about me really tricky. I think it's because of this .......

Random things about me #2

I have no memory. Well, very little anyway. My family can mention something we did, or a film we watched, and I'll think, "Was I even there??". My RRS (Rather Radiant Sister-in-law) was in the same class as me at school and she can remember LOADS more than I can. I can remember that all the boys fancied her though - sob!

Monday, July 16

Normal service will be resumed shortly

No, this isn't wine left out from Saturday night - as if! - it's rain. Again.

It's been ages hasn't it? Since we've seen any signs of summer? Or of a new monkey made of knit? And after all, they're really what this blog is meant to be about.

It's just that I keep getting distracted. By my pc, by other people's blogs, by chocolate, by pesky visitors, by housework (ok that last one was a lie). But I'm hoping that tomorrow there will be news on the MMoK front.

In the meantime, thanks to Rubyred for tagging me. I'm touched. (But I guess you already knew that.) I was racking my brain yesterday to come up with 8 random things about me but I just couldn't. So I thought I might do one a day. Is that allowed?

Random things about me # 1

I have a zi.... spot ..... above my right eyebrow which keeps coming back because I keep picking it. And at my age you'd have thought I'd know better.

Is that the kind of thing you're after? Hmm. Possibly not. I'll try to do better tomorrow.

Also, does anyone know where Myra lives? If you do, could you go round and give her a knock because she hasn't claimed this yet .....

He's still kicking around our spare room, with Dennis. Maybe she doesn't want him anymore. But that's fine, that's ok. (I can't really blame her.) But if that's the case then what the heck am I meant to do with him??

Sunday, July 15

How not to win friends and influence people ...... into knitting you a monkey


What is the true meaning of that term? My dictionary states it as :-

friend /frend/ n 1 a person who trusts and is fond of somebody else 2 a person on good terms with somebody else 3 an ally 4 an advocate of a cause 5 a patron of a charity or institution

Wishing to seek further clarity of the true essence of friendship I turned to my thesaurus and discovered the following :-

friend n 1 comrade, companion, mate, pal (infml), chum (infml) Opposite : foe (fml) 2 acquaintance, contact, colleague, associate, partner Opposite : stranger 3 ally, helper, supporter, well-wisher, collaborator Opposite : rival

Ok, now I understand. Definitely not someone who would do this to my monkey then ......

Or this ......

They didn't stay. Nuff said.

Saturday, July 14

My Rather Fabulous Sis, my Biggest Bro and Me!

Ah, don't you just love old photos? They're so ...... embarrassing!

This rather 70's shot (ignore the date, that's when I stumbled across this beauty) shows my Rather Fabulous Sister looking slightly nervous, my Rather RAFish Brother, beaming in his new kit, and me. Also beaming!

Could my sister be looking so worried because she feared that one day her home-knit cardi might end up on The Museum of Kitschy Stitches by Stitchy McYarnpants? (with thanks to Julie for the link to that one, it's hilarious!). You can tell that cardi is a home-knit because she's also wearing the tell-tale polo-neck jumper to counteract the terrible itching that all home-knits of that era seemed to cause.

Or could it be because she's worried that with that "do" she could be mistaken for Michael York? (said she with the pudding bowl fringe!)

And me, looking all smug in my shop-bought zip up? At that stage I obviously didn't fully realise the implications of the hand-me-down system. I soon learned.

But the best thing about all of this? My sister doesn't have a blog so she can't retaliate! Bah ha ha ha ha!

(Cheese plants. Did they die out with the 70's or do people still have them??)

Friday, July 13

Everybody loves Raymond

Well, I do anyway. He's such a hero! If you've seen kittypinkstars photos on flickr you'll notice that he made a dramatic rescue of his friend, Kenny, without getting his socks wet! And this picture of him appeals to me on so many levels ......

(at least five)

I tried to recreate it with No. 11 in the gravel on the drive ...... well, sadly we don't have a beach nearby .....

..... but I don't think it has the same effect.

And have you all seen Jess Hutch's Big Toy! ?? Amazing! (And yet slightly worrying). You know what I'm thinking? Big Monkey! *Sigh*. If only I could be bothered.

Thursday, July 12

Monkey Football

Ok. So maybe I exaggerated a tad yesterday when I said I didn't catch any rays. Me and some of the boys (monkeys) were out there for a bit doing this - I hope you don't get a headache from my shaky camera-work. Also, apologies in advance for the fact that you'll be humming the tune all day - I know I can't get it out of my head!

After yesterdays mammoth post I shan't waffle on today, plus I've got knitting to catch up with.

Happy nearly Friday!

Wednesday, July 11

Am I multi-tasking or just getting distracted??

Is it just me, or do others find that they get really distracted when they're doing mundane houseworky chores? Today, for instance, I thought "Right, I'll get x, y and z done and then I'll be able to chill and work on No.12" (x,y,z being my formula for said mundane, houseworky chores - ooh, hark at me doing maths!). First on my list was the spare room.

We have friends coming at the weekend and if all goes to plan, there'll be so much wine and beer flowing that they'll have to stay over. And they won't be able to stay over in this .......

But really, it was so dull that half-way through I mooched downstairs, got a coffee, and did a bit of surfing and blog-stalking. (Isn't it amazing how long that kind of thing can take?)

Eventually, I slogged back upstairs to CRACK ON!! But while I was up there, I got distracted while peeking in at this .......

...... I sighed (ok swore), then beat a hasty retreat. One question though ......

...... why do I bother making them packed lunches??

Shortly, I took another break and went and did some of this ........

And even in the supermarket I got distracted! In the fridge section. By a little black box with 2 innocent letters on it. After talking about them yesterday I found that I couldn't actually walk by without picking up a - full price - pack!

BUT LOOK!! I could win the most decadent long weekend of my life on my very own superyacht! That makes it worth it, surely!

Also, I thought I'd try a different style this time. In the name of research, you understand. They're tiny! But they're really really REALLY rich. Bet you can't eat all three without vomiting. (I tried, but sadly failed)

And then I texted my RFS.

Next, I FINALLY did this - after the sheets had practically walked themselves to the washing machine (my mum must be so proud of me!) .......

Notice No. 5 assuming the clean sheets celebratory position? (Note to self : must try to recreate this celebratory pose when RGH gets back)

Then I got distracted by my PC again and uploaded some pictures to flickr.

After that I made this rather interesting sock and pant mountain .........

(Sorry, Super Sweetie, you get all the best assignments. They are clean though. Ish. Now, if you could just pair them for me?)

Next I took a break to check my emails.

Until finally, I trogged back upstairs to finish this .......

Hurrah! Roll on the weekend and a good old (responsible) drinking sesh!!

Strangely, I didn't see Dennis in the spare room. He's usually in there facing the wall. I don't want him jumping out at me in the middle of the night so I thought I'd better find him. Luckily, I knew exactly where to look.

Can you see him there? It's like a Where's Wally puzzle.

Sadly, after all that I didn't manage to do any of this .......

(is it a hedgehog??)
And I'm just the tiniest bit upset that while I was in, doing all that "stuff", this was going on outside ......

No! Not the washing! The sky!!

Well, apologies for the long winded, picture heavy, horn tooting post, but if nothing else it's an exercise to show RGH that days off are not always what they're cracked up to be.

Toot toot!

Random Monkey Shot # 13

007 swimming in a sea of green

Tuesday, July 10

Let the padding commence

Right. Well, work is going swimmingly on No. 12, but as I only have one pair of hands (obviously a design flaw at the human being planning stage) and I have to work in between the knitting (mutter, gripe, winge), and lets not even start on housework (cos I never do), it may take a little while before he/she/it makes his/her/it's debut.

So expect a week or so of padding. Alternatively, tune in again next week for a knitted monkey update. In the meantime ...... on with the padding!

Have you ever seen these?

They are Gu chocolate cheesecakes and they're divine. In fact they're better than that, they're exquisite. They make you eat them in tiny teaspoon fulls so that they'll last as long as possible and they make your lips squish right up while you suck the life out of each morsel and savour every tiny mouthful. Ahem. They're good, ok? Trust me.

I only ever buy them when they're on offer at a supermarket, which makes them even more special as when they're not reduced I just wander past them drooling so much that I hear people slipping up behind me.

I like them this much ........

Yes, I am very very greedy. I'm also slightly concerned about the number of glass ramekins that are cluttering up my cupboard.

And tomorrow I'll be talking about my obsession with bacon crisps. (I won't really ...... although just thinking about them is making my mouth water. Bacon crisps for breakfast. Is that wrong??)

Monday, July 9

Take one ordinary pair of socks .......

....... and turn them into something fabulous. I can't do that, as this demonstrates .......

Dennis, the scary sock monkey menace

But I know someone who can. After browsing through her photos on flickr recently, I clicked onto kittypinkstars Etsy shop and DAMN that pesky Paypal!! It's all his fault! Yeah sure, he pretends he's your mate and then he makes it really easy for you to buy stuff! Although in this case I'll let him off, because on Friday this very exciting-looking package arrived .......

We were all intrigued

Inside it were these beautifully bound up packages ......

The monkeys made the newbie go and poke it, while they stood (sat) well back ......

And then all was revealed .......

Why, it's Super Sweetie Sock Creature!! (and a couple of free strawberry hair slides that No. 9 had already grabbed!)

There was a bit of a stand-off (sit-off) while everyone measured up each other .......

Until Super Sweetie SC offered up a goodwill gesture ........

Which the monkeys fell for .........

Pile on!!!

Monkeys are dum. And they smell. I'm off to bagsy the best slot on the sofa!

After untangling themselves, No. 10 thought (s)he'd (we're not really sure what No. 10, is but I'm thinking female. RBD1 disagrees) like some of that fur taming hair slide action ........

So they decided to share ........


So Super Sweetie SC assumed her position on the sofa, between her two new bessie mates .......

Get off me. And give me my sweetie back.

Welcome to the asylum Super Sweetie Sock Creature. I'm sure you'll be very happy. Mwah ha ha ha ha!! (Note to Kitty : Please don't worry about your sock creature, she's in safe hands. It's only knitted monkey abuse we go in for in this house, honest!)

Sunday, July 8

How camp is my monkey?

Quite, as turns out. We went camping last night and took No. 11. He had a fab time.

Although he was a bit concerned about those clouds on the way over to the Forest of Dean.

Ah, empty roads. You don't see many of those in Bristol.

While we set up camp, No. 11 got his priorities right ......

Ok, we're here now, when can we start the alcohol?? (After RGH has stopped doing that dodgy looking thing in the background)

Oh! So that's what he was doing!!

Oi, you man! Hurry up with that sofa!

Once comfy No. 11 was keen to phone home to let the other chimps know he'd arrived safely.

(That sofa cum bed? Looked fab in the shop. It's THE most uncomfortable sofa, and when in bed mode it's too big for our little inner bedroom - so while RGH was safely ensconced in the bedroom zone, I was mostly out in the main part of the awning with the porta potti. Nice.)

RBD1 was happy to be out in the open air ........

But No. 11 wondered why his PG chums weren't coming out to play ........


And here I am, enjoying a fruit cordial ........

(I'm very tall)

Unfortunately, No. 11 got hold of said fruit cordial and was reluctant to let it go .......
Gerroff, ish mine

Moments earlier we'd found him like this .........
(You're thinking it's a good job we haven't got pets, yes? And possibly wondering about the safety of our children??)

Well don't worry about them (they're fine!). Worry about this instead ........

....... that's just wrong!

RBD2 enjoyed thrashing her father at badminton. Lots of times. Go RBD2!!
....... she moves like the speed of light!

And so day turned to night. And all of a sudden it wasn't so much fun anymore. It got cold. And damp. And cold. And did I mention damp?

I'm f-f-f-f-f-freezing (as was the photographist, hence the camera shake!)

And so to bed .........

Leave me alone. I'm cold. I'm damp. And this duvet stinks.

Because of his appalling attitude we made No. 11 get up at the crack of dawn to prepare our breakfast.

But when it was time to wake the RBD's we found this .......

I think that last exclamation mark indicates just how sarcastic this note is!!!

No. 11 wasn't having much fun either as he realised how basic the facilities were ......

Must you do that? Can't a monkey have any privacy around here??

After packing up camp we headed home, and on the way back we stopped off at our favourite coffee emporium but SOMEONE was DEVASTATED when it transpired that there were no raspberry and white choc chip muffins! (I feel another strongly worded letter coming on!)

Then we took the long way home. Just so I could snap the cool bridge on second Severn crossing. And the back of No. 11's head, just in case you haven't seen it enough.